In today’s fast paced workplace, leaders are often caught between two expectations: to lead with authority, making decisions, guiding direction, enforcing standards, and to remain approachable, open to feedback, supportive, and relatable. The good news is that these do not have to be mutually exclusive. With the right mindset and approach, you can lead with strength and genuine connection.
Why This Balance Matters:
- Trust and respect go hand in hand. When people know you have a clear vision and hold yourself (and others) to high standards, you earn respect. But if you also show empathy, openness, and humility, you build trust, the kind that encourages people to speak up, share ideas, and stay committed.
- Better morale, engagement, and innovation. Teams that feel heard and valued tend to be more engaged, creative, and loyal. But without firm leadership, that energy can scatter. Balance brings alignment plus motivation.
- Effective conflict resolution and clarity. Clear expectations and fair leadership provide structure. Approachability ensures that when issues arise, people feel safe voicing them, leading to healthier, more constructive resolutions.
With that in mind, here is how leaders can strike this balance.
1. Lead with Clarity: Define Expectations, Roles, and Goals
A big part of authority comes from clarity. When a leader defines what success looks like in terms of performance, behavior, and team values, people know where they stand. This reduces uncertainty, minimizes misunderstandings, and builds predictability.
That said, clarity does not have to equal coldness. You can clearly communicate expectations while being warm and inviting. It is not about strictness for its own sake. It is about aligning the team around a shared purpose and direction.
Tips:
- Use straightforward language when outlining goals or standards.
- Provide context and explain why certain expectations exist. People are more likely to align when they understand the reasoning.
- Revisit expectations regularly, especially when priorities shift. Transparency builds trust.
2. Communicate Openly and Encourage Dialogue
Approachable leaders make space for communication. That means not just issuing directives, but also inviting input, questions, and feedback. When team members know you will listen, truly listen, they are far more likely to speak up when it matters.
Active listening, paying full attention, acknowledging concerns, and asking thoughtful questions conveys respect and care. These small actions go a long way in making people feel valued.
Tips:
- Schedule regular check ins and one on ones, especially with remote or hybrid teams.
- Create safe spaces for feedback and encourage honesty, even when it might be hard to hear.
- Be open about your own challenges or uncertainties. Vulnerability often invites trust rather than weakness.
3. Lead by Example: Show the Behavior You Expect
One of the most effective ways to balance authority and approachability is to embody the traits you value. Whether it is integrity, accountability, empathy, or respect, when you live those values, people naturally follow.
Leading by example does not mean being perfect. It means being consistent. It means owning mistakes, learning from them, and demonstrating resilience and humility. That kind of leadership inspires loyalty and respect far more than a strict top-down approach ever could.
4. Be Decisive but Inclusive Where It Counts
Authority often requires decisiveness. Especially in tough situations, teams look for leaders who can make calls confidently. But decisiveness does not need to exclude collaboration. When possible, involve your team in the decision making process: seek input, weigh options, and then lead with clarity.
This inclusive decisiveness builds buy-in, gives team members a sense of ownership, and increases commitment to whatever path is chosen.
Tips:
- When time allows, solicit ideas before finalizing major decisions.
- For time-sensitive matters, be clear about why a quick decision is necessary. Transparency matters.
- After decisions are made, explain the reasoning so the team understands the why, not just the outcome.
5. Lead with Empathy: Understand That People Are People
A crucial bridge between authority and approachability is empathy. Recognizing that every person brings their own life, challenges, and motivations, and treating them as human beings rather than resources, builds respect and loyalty.
Empathy also means being supportive during tough times, forgiving mistakes, and supporting growth, not just criticism. When people know their leader values them beyond output, they’re more likely to invest their best selves.
6. Be Transparent: Share the Why, Not Just the What
Transparency builds trust. When you share not just what needs to be done, but why, including the reasoning, the trade offs, and the challenges, you treat your team as capable adults. Even when decisions are hard, people are more likely to respect them if they understand the context.
This does not mean you must share every confidential detail, but as much as you can, be open. Openness signals respect, fosters psychological safety, and strengthens your position as a fair and honorable leader.
Balancing authority and approachability is not about choosing one over the other. It is about weaving both into your leadership style. As a leader, you can be firm and empathetic, decisive and collaborative, authoritative and human. It comes down to clarity, communication, empathy, and consistency.
Next time you wonder whether you need to be tough or friendly, remember that you can be both. What is one action you are going to take this week to make your leadership a little more approachable while still holding firm to your vision?
We would love to hear your thoughts.
